Nice, Smooth Legs

*Please note:
This is a topic of feminine lifestyle. All macho men that get goose-bumpy and sick with words such as "bikini line" used in the context of hair removal, beware. (Hey, remember, we do this stuff partially for you guys!)


I made an appointment yesterday. What for, you ask? Well, I was sitting in my yoga pants and a tank watching television when I placed my hand on my ankle. I shiver went down my spine when I looked at the dense forest that had overtaken my legs. Hmmm, I though. Maybe I should shave... But, you see, I hate shaving with a passion. I am already klutzy, so me attempting to shave my legs with a sharp blade normally results in blood. I have little scars to prove it, too!

So, a couple years ago, I thought, Why not wax? I figured that all the whining about how much it hurt was simply wussy female-talk. So, I bought a home-waxing kit and set myself up in my tankini and a dry bathroom tub. What a mess! Sure, it worked, but there was wax everywhere. Thank goodness I did my legs in the tub, otherwise, washing away all the wax stuck all over the place would not have been an easy task.

The next time, I decided, I would go to a salon. However, being the rather conservative person that I am (Remember that I am shy about my legs...so having someone that close to them freaks me out), I had to bring myself to do it. While debating, I sliced my leg (again) shaving and had enough...

...So I went to an Indian salon (I don't mean to sound crass, but I've got Indian friends who will self-admit that their as hairy as Robin Williams without the waxing) figuring that I'd feel like the lesser of us hairy ones.

The lady, who was the same one that I went to today, is the same on that I have been going to. She makes you feel really comfortable even when you're sitting there in your panties and a tanktop!

The good news is that spring is now offically here. I can finally see the skin on my legs again, my arms are nice and smooth and now I can wear a skirt again! (Yay!) I still have to go back again next week for a bikini waxing, but I don't know...I might just do that myself. It's a little less intrusive.

Sigh, what women do for beauty. We're a funny bunch.

Am I Too Trusting?

I honestly dislike mankind right now.

I keep getting myself into situations not quite to my liking due to my trust in people. Hmmm, for example...

This whole problem with my mission trip photographs from this past summer in Cuba is still outstanding. Sigh, I do someone a favor, lend them my camera and all that is agreed to in return is that we swap doubles. But I guess that's just too easy because I still don't have my photographs. The thing that bothers me the most is that this person kept saying that they'd meet me to trade and then, "Oops, sorry...Something came up."

Disgusting. Simply disgusting. What ever happened to the validity of giving one's word? Society and all things moral and good are quickly going to hell in a handbag.

Then there's this entire group work issue right now. I am taking a course at YorkU called Dance in Popular Culture in the 20th Century and as part of the final grade, a group project is to be presented. I was going to do it by myself...I should have listened to my gut feeling. I now have a slacker group who didn't even show up this past Tuesday, when a rough draft (worth 15% of final grade) of the essay was due. I have no problem with group projects, but I am a perfectionist and need to work with people of the same type. This is not me being upity, just picky...And rightfully so. It is my grade, my butt on the line and my academic standing that I need to get off academic warning.


The question is: Am I too cynical?


Perhaps, and that's not good. By the way, to all of you out there, which are numerous and fantastic friends, I hope you realize that I'm not talking about you. I know that you are good at heart and love God and always try to do the right thing.

I guess that I'm just mad at those few in my life, the ones that make me wonder if I'm simply too trusting. But then I realize, I think I'd rather be trusting and always give people the benefit of the doubt. It answers that question of, "What would Jesus do?"

It's just so hard...

Sometimes

Sometimes, I wish that I could write the great American novel.

(For those of you, like I, who are born Canadian, will understand the partial embarrassment of the phrase "great Canadian novel" because two words explain it perfectly: Margaret Atwood. I rest my case.)

The closest thing that I have, currently, are my opinionated, personal pieces that I write from week to week on this online journal, a journal of which I like to flatter myself by thinking that I actually have an audience of more than one. Now, whether or not I do in reality, I guess that I'll never know, but I'll admit that I like to humor myself by believing I have a following!

Then, there are sometimes when I wish that I could spend my days surrounded by nature, writing and arranging the English language to my fancy into something so fantastically sublime or adventurously grand with romance and intrigue as its subtextual sustenance.

There are even times that I imagine myself sitting alone on a rocky outlook in Northern Canada, with all beauty below, only the cloudless heavens above and only a peaceful autumn breeze to keep my company...

...Oh my! Perhaps, I just want to be the femme figure of the late L.M. Montgomery's literary success. How strange.

But I have come to the conclusion that, in life, anything is possible, therefore as long as I never put my pen down or let my words fail the page, I might just turn out my own great work of literary art. Then again, beauty is in the eye of its beholder, so it might be considered to be not very good, but at least I will have authored something, complete with my name printed across the front cover.

Who knows? Maybe all in some time.

New Focus and Possibly Fencing

I was riding the GO bus today to York University and was reading a book, about the achetypes that link all classic literature, called The Golden Thread. What a fantastic read and completely voluntary, but I soon got distracted as my imagination wandered onto the topic of life. You know, I feel pretty lucky right now. Well, like I have written in my Blogger profile, it's not really luck when you're a Christian...it's more a blessing deliberately given to you by God.

Anyway, I was staring out the window and reflecting on everything going on nowadays. There's so much that is keeping me busy, but yet, it's all good. I'll admit, for awhile I was depressed due to some life changes, but all has returned to normal again. Of course, not too normal, because that would be just plain boring, but I finally feel like myself again.

It's amazing how life and a bad relationship with God can change a person. I've been on a decline before, but certainly not as long as this. My nineteenth year was joyous in many many ways, but my heart was craving God and I just couldn't pull myself together. However, I finally got the guts to give up my unproductive ways to focus once more on God. As far as I'm concerned, I needed to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Dad before I could focus on a relationship with someone else. My love needed to be passed over into His hands before it could be shared with whoever my future soulmate might be. It's nice to be good with the Big Guy again!

So, I've made my decision. Everyday, I'm trying to focus first on Him. Even on those mornings when my evil IKEA alarmclock lets loose at 5:30am, I try to say good morning to Him before I repeat it to my parents or my nice, hot shower. You know, it felt good. It felt really, really good to wake up to God. I think I can get use to this!

Hmmm...as for the rest of my life...

I was thinking about this spring and what I could do with my single self when school concludes for the season. I plan to work, obviously as moolah doesn't grow on trees and York likes to suck their students dry, but I was thinking more along the lines of extra cirricular activities. So, I opened the city's Inside and Out Guide for classes of all kinds and I believe I found a couple. There's a western line dancing which I love to do and also a fencing class. How cool is that? I've always liked fencing, so I figured that this would be a fun class to take...I mean, after all, you never know when I might be challenged to a dual; they're so common these days! Hahaha!

Well, I have Mom's birthday gift to start. She does a lot of baking (well, we both do) and her apron is looking really sad, so I went to get some fabric for a new apron and oven mitts. I found the nicest fabric (different width strips of soft greens, beiges, browns and salmony-pinks) and, with my new desk, I can now use my sewing machine in my room instead of the kitchen table.

So, I hope everyone has a great week and remember that Friday is St. Patty's Day...so let the green ale flow and don't forget: "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" (Well, Scottish, anyway...close enough, but I also except hugs!)

God bless and never forget to smile!

My Cave Survival Guide

This will forever remain a running joke...

I love my readers, but nonetheless, you guys are crazy. You seem to think that I am some Wonder Woman meets a feminized Crocodile Dundee. But, here is what you have all been joking about: My long - awaited reference, written down, on how to survive if trapped or lost in a cave. I cannot vouch for the authenticity of my advice, as I have never actually been stuck in a cave... although, I've been spulunking in quite a few. So, if you dare to try it, be my guest, but no comments from the peanut gallery if something in this guide backfired on you while attempting to prove this guide useful.

How to Survive in a Cave

If you should ever find your unprepared self in a dark and rocky predicament, please follow to emerge unscathed...
just like these very happy and hippy people.

Stage #1: "Where the heck am I?":

1. Stop blaming each other, shut up and sit down. The worst thing that you could do is start jumping up and down while screaming bloody murder at one another. Why, you ask? Well, simply because of the sharp overhead rocks and nasty clusters of bats, as well as (depending what type of cave you're in) other not-so-welcoming creatures. Jumping up and down will only give you all a concussion, but screaming could put you in a swarm of bats or in the path of an awakened and grumpy slumbering bear. But before you sit, feel the ground so you don't sit in anything.
2. Determine which direction you came from and face that way. This will not only make you calm down and focus, but also help you get your bearings. Suggestion: Place your knapsack, top first (or north end), toward the direction from which you came, so that if nature calls and you have to get up, you will remember your original position. If you have 100% figured out where you came from (perhaps by looking at your footsteps on the ground...there's normally a slight amount of dust on the cave floor which will visably allow you to leave an imprint), then start heading that way. Just try to mark your trail, à la Hansel and Gretel, in case you get turned around. If you're actually stuck due to utter confusion or a blocked cave trail, then keep reading.
3. Take an inventory of all you have with you, including what you are wearing. It's much easier to know what you can do once you know what you have! Don't use up your water too quickly. Only drink it when you have to.
4. Make sure your flashlight works. Okay, here's where stuff could go downhill. I'm hoping that you were exploring this cave with a flashlight (although, preferably a headlamp). If you weren't prepared and don't have a flashlight...or the reason that you're stuck is because you lost/broke/forgot to put in new batteries, well, we'll get to the issue of light a little later.

Stage #2: "Guys, I think we'll be here awhile!":

1. Turn off all lights while chatting to one another. Everyone sit around the knapsack, knee to knee as though you were going to play a game of "Telephone." This way, you won't need to see each other because the physical contact is much more reassuring. If you are by yourself, sit at the bottom of the knapsack (or south end) with your body facing the north end. One more thing: Only ONE person speaks at a time.
2. By goodness, DO NOT DRINK THE WATER FOUND IN THE CAVE!!! Ever heard of E.coli? Well, bat feces are just as toxic as human feces, and there is an extremely good possiblity that the water, if there is any to be found, is contaminated. You'll be sick before you even get out of the cave. The symptoms: naseaua and bloody diarrea (severe blood problems and kidney failure are only occational). Nothing could be grosser than a "cookie-tossing" friend, especially if you're in an semi-ventilated space like a cave and you've got sypathy pukers on your hands. Please remember: FOOD AND WATER CONTAMINATED WITH E.coli BACTERIA LOOK AND SMELL NORMAL.
3. Determine how long you are going to be there and how to proceed.
   This is the last of the step by step advice. By calmly looking at your situation and figuring out whether getting back to day light is going to require some simple sleuthing or digging your way out, well, you can proceed from there using the tips below.

Stage #3: "Some Handy-Dandy Tips":

1. Got food? Ration it using the math of days and the number of people you have to feed.
2. Chewing Gum? Well, stop chewing it. Whatever you've got in your mouth you can keep on chomping on, but save the rest for an emergency adhesive.
3. H2O? No more guzzling. Who knows how long you're going to be there.
4. Caves are a perfect grow-op for bacteria because it's so nicely damp and cold. So, try not to touch the ground and then your eyes, food, etc.
5. Straps, belts, hair elastics and other such things can be used for hanging food off the ground. (There are still little critters and bugs that would love to eat that granola bar you brought!)
6. Need light? Think before you light. If you are in a small and enclosed space, you might want to rethink the fire idea. The problem with fire is the amount of oxygen it can use up. If you are blocked by a cave-in, perhaps darkness is a fair compromise for having enough O2 to breathe. If you are simply lost deep underground in a large cavern room, well, go ahead. Just be careful of what you burn. Wet and moldy tinder will not burn clean, creating a ton of smoke. So...
7. Need firewood? Empty all pockets for fuzz, pencils, bus tickets, bus transfers, business cards that might be in your wallet (although save your donor card), gum wrappers, facial tissue, paper (although save your notebook in case you need to leave a note and stick it with the gum..hint, hint)...even cutting off a little hair will work extremely well, too. All of this will work wonderfully to help light your fire, but it won't last more than a few minutes, depending on how much you were able to scrounge up. If you are in a big cave, it means that there have most likely been other before you. Still not catching on? Well, most people, unfortunately, leave a trail behind them of stuff like walking sticks and other things that you can search for and use. So start praying and look around you for wood.
8. No matches? Well, try sparking a battery over some kindling, or taking a shoe lace and wrapping it around a stick so you can turn it back and forth, or rubbing two sticks together (yes, it does work), or take a pen and rub it fast for a while against some paper until the tip is really hot...I've tried it. It will ignite the paper if it's completely dry. Thin bus transfers and fuzz, especially, will light immediately, so be ready! Also, nail polish will ignite, but be careful as it will smell like hell if you're in a small area. (You'll also get a high, so this is an emergency measure ONLY! You will need to stay alert to stay alive.)
9. Your butt getting a little wet? Quiet down and listen...do you hear water? Is it dropping down from the ceiling or is it just running past? There are a lot of underground streams, so it's not like you can just follow it out of the cave, but by monitoring its speed, you can determine if there is a chance of flooding. If you can, try to move to the sides of the cave or up on a rock. It's less moist, has a better view and will keep you dry.
10. Feeling Cold? Did you know that most of your body heat escapes via your head? If you have a hat, keep it on. If you don't, wrap a tanktop or tee around your head to keep warm. Hypothermia is a very real possibility, so keep warm. Hug each other and show some love!

Now, it's all written down. I could think of more, but I'm sure you are already shaking your head at all of this. If you have any question, comments or challenges, please feel free to make them.

So, until next time, enjoy life and always be prepared!

Just a Thought

I just realized today...

...I can sit in our empty church and feel like I'm finally home.

It's not because of the building, but it is because, in the simple quietness, God can finally whisper His sweet and merciful love.